the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize
