I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
