Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
be right there i have to get my cape
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
