if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
