Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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