Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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