She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
