Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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