i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
