I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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