I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
