I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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