omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
