let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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