I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
