I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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