Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
