You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
