id be glad to
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
