dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
