No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize