Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize