:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
