I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
