she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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