she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
