I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize
