I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Randomize
