We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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