oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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