Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
