Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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