If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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