Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize
