im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Me too!
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Randomize
