Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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