Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
