barbara walters just said penis...
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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