It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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