I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Randomize
