I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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