it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Randomize