Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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