why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
