hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
