So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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