I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
