I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
