Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Randomize
