Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
