Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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