He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
