How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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