My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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