This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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