This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
