I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
