Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I'm passing your future prison.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
