I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
