I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Randomize