I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
