why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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