He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
