Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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