Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
