All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
