were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Let's paint friendship bongs
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
