Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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