She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize