U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
