Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
