so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Randomize
